The 'Bestest'

Early in 2021, I hit a low point in living. Fortunately, I knew enough to grab an opportunity for counseling and connected thru the local Mental Health Department with a psychologist who specialized in trauma care.

We all have experiences in our lives that can trigger that age old ‘fight or flight’ response, that deep grieving for something that was either lost or had never been in the first place. That initial wound could have occurred in childhood, later or even earlier as in a generationally linked event, or beyond, if you believe in past lives. We can feel the anxiousness that then adds to the drama of our day-to-day existence.

During our first phone session, I was settling from my initial burst of tears and confessed “I feel like I’m falling apart.”

He suggested that perhaps I was falling together.

His words turned the tide in my mind. I was no longer drowning but, at the very least, treading water.

I’m believing now in the possibility that treading water in this current flood of uncertainty is the best any of us can do. It is perhaps all that we are ever meant to do.

When I was a just little girl, I was known to say, “I’m doing the ‘bestest’ I can do.” This is my current mantra.